Friday, August 23, 2013


I used to dread these things;

The whole concept of family gatherings made me want to die from boredom just thinking about it. I knew it was horrible to think that way and that I should always want to be around my family, but I had a hard time feeling guilty for not wanting to be around people who have only made me feel like shit my whole life.

            “Wake up!” My mom never usually bothered with waking me up, ever. I always got up on my own, made it to school without a hitch, never asking for more than she could offer. I wouldn’t want to be burden on the woman who gave up her future so that I could have one, no matter how mediocre it’ll probably turn out to be.

            “I’m up. I’ve been up for over an hour. What do you need?” I asked. She told me she wanted to make sure I didn’t have plans tomorrow night because the whole family is getting together at Aunt Claire’s house to swim and barbeque. As it turns out, I did have plans. But I wouldn’t dare mention that to her, it would just be a waste of time. She would make me cancel my plans anyway. I requested off work specifically for tomorrow so I could make it to a show that one of my friend’s band was playing in, but it looks like I’m gonna have to miss it. Again.

            “Can I just go for an hour and leave? Not like Aunt Claire or Uncle Jared will care anyway. Last time we had one of these gatherings, they kept calling me Jasmine, remember? “Jasmine is my older sister. She got out as fast as she could and we haven’t talked in over two years.

            “Ayra, honey, family is important. You don’t know how much longer we have with nana. She isn’t going to be around forever. Plus, Trey is coming into town and he’ll be there. He says he has something for you.” Okay, now my curiosity is sparked. Trey hasn’t been around for 9 months. Last time I saw him, he promised to keep in touch and that he would come back for me. But, parallel to his personality, he stopped writing after two weeks and seemingly forgot I existed. My cousin is the epitome of all the things I hate but he is also the most amazing person I’ve ever met. It doesn’t make sense, even to me.

             I have so many questions though. Why is he choosing to come back now? Why has he contacted my mom and the rest of our family but not me?  I suddenly wish tomorrow would come much faster.

            The next day came and work was hell. All I could think about was Trey and what he could possibly have for me. He knows what I want most is to leave everything behind, not have more junk to get rid of when I finally get out. As the time dragged on, I decided to give up with the ridiculous scenarios in my head. He owes me much more than an explanation.

            When I got home from work I quickly put on my swim suit and slipped on a dress over it. I packed some clothes to bring with me; I planned on leaving early in hopes of being able to catch the end of Jason’s set. My mom texted me telling her to meet her at Aunt Claire’s when I got off work. On the way over, I had the urge to turn around and drive in the opposite direction. I don’t know how to face Trey. I’ve been so angry with him for not returning my letters, never telling me if he was alright or where he is or what he’s out there doing without me. He is experiencing the world and I’m stuck in Pittson, Pennsylvania, doomed.

            The first thing I see when I walk through the door is Trey, sitting alone on the couch reading Walden. He seems really into it and doesn’t notice me walk up to him and I’m sure he never expected to be slapped across the face by me.

            “Okay, I deserved that.”

            “Yeah, you more than deserved that.”

             “Say goodbye to your mom. Tell her you’ll see her back at the house later. Nana has already fallen asleep and you won’t miss much. We have a lot to talk about and I’d rather not talk here, surrounded by our highly intoxicated relatives.” Trey was telling me to say bye to my family, was it just farewell for now or goodbye until further notice?

            I said bye to my mom, Claire and Jared but they only allowed me to leave after a little coaxing done by Trey. He said he had something for me and it wasn’t here.

            We got in the car and started towards the direction of my house. I was spilling my heart out to Trey the whole way, telling him how angry I’ve been with him. How much he let me down. How much I’ve missed him. All he did was sit there, silent, never once glancing in my direction. When we got to my driveway, we sat there in silence until I finally asked what he had to give to me.

            He handed me an old map, probably from the 80’s, and I looked at him quizzically until he spoke. “Grab only the necessities. I told you I’d come back for you. Better late than never.”